And while it’s definitely possible that it’s just an excuse, I also think it really is possible that some people are afraid of committing…but it’s also sometimes possible for that to change. I’ve been dating my boyfriend for over three years now and we’re very happy.Do you ever wonder why your relationships start off so promising, yet don't last? Here's the thing, way back I dated several guys who pursued me relentlessly, sending flowers, wining and dining me and showing me off to their friends. I started asking myself: "Did I do something wrong?
But when I first met him, he was scared of commitment.
His last few relationships had been bad and he was afraid to open up again in a new one.
They play games with your heart as they are in a constant state of emotional conflict. They minimise, alter or deny the reality and make excuses for the CP.
They like to plan last minute and 'go with the flow', and often say 'sounds great'' or 'I will get back to you' and cancel last minute, stand you up or turn up late. They twist things when you confront them by turning nasty, calling you a drama queen or accusing you of being over sensitive. They are often attractive and successful, yet come up with lots of reasons why they haven't been married, lived with anyone or had a long term commitment. If you complain about not seeing them enough - they say you are too clingy or needy. They like to control everything by picking time frames that are convenient for them. They often date people who live a distance or are married, as then when they want 'out' they then have a great excuse to end the relationship. They pull away when you get close and chase you when you pull away. They are often unfaithful and favour affairs and flings over long term relationships. They like to date as they get lonely but get bored easily which is when the text, emails and calls start slowing down. They often compartmentalise elements of their life which is a sure sign you are they are not into you for the long term. They often mask their deep unhappiness with empty sex, gambling, drink or drugs. Many friends and clients, go into 'euphoric recall' - selective memory focusing on the good sex or/and great lifestyle or charm or looks.
Commitment phobia is a very painful experience both for the one who engages in the pattern and for those who are involved with that person.
Usually the art of pushing and pulling and seduction are the domain of the commitment “phobe.” The answer dwells deeply in the family of origin survival patterns. People who are commitment phobic feel they need to cut off their feelings after a certain point of knowing someone as a means of feeling in control and feeling emotionally protected.
One of the biggest excuses as to why guys don’t want to be in a relationship has to be that they’re scared of commitment.
In fact, the fear of commitment and relationships is becoming so common, a lot of people don’t even believe it anymore.
His reaction will tell you everything you need to know. And it doesn't mean that he's dating someone else (he still might be).
But it likely means that, for whatever reason, he's not quite wired for an actual adult relationship.
Many CP's have a history of flings and short relationship's yet always make out it is the ex's fault they split. CPs dislike being busted and become self- righteous, defiant and reactive when their selfish behaviour is flagged up.