The rules were simple: I'd only talk to guys using the OG HBO queen's most iconic (or cringeworthy) lines. Much like the show's breaking of the fourth wall, there were inconsistencies.
I love when guys say fancy shit like "intrigued" online because you know IRL he doesn't even say anything when he flips you over halfway during sex.
How do you start a chill conversation without overthinking things?
Thanks to a general rut with *looks at hand* "casual dating," I decided to let Carrie Bradshaw run my dating life for a day.
But the fifth day, you went to see your mother and that seemed just like a day, but then you came back and later on the sixth day, in the evening, when we saw each other, that started seeming like two days, so in the evening it seemed like two days spilling over into the next day and that started seeming like four days, so at the end of the sixth day on into the seventh day, it seemed like a total of five days. I have it written down, but I-I can show it to you tomorrow if you want to see it. Gentlemen, let's get to work." - "Unger, didn't you serve under Oveur in the Air Force? Technically, Dunn was under Oveur and I was under Dunn." - "Yep." - "So, Dunn, you were under Oveur and over Unger." - "Yep." - "That's right.
And the third day seemed like a week again and the fourth day seemed like eight days. You'll be whistling 'Zip-A-Dee Doo-Dah' out of your assholes!
" - "I'm doing a sociological study on perversion - up to advanced child molesting." - "Taggart." - "Yes, sir." - "I've decided to launch an attack that will reduce Rock Ridge to ashes." - "What do you want me to do, sir?
Anyway, I've decided that tomorrow when the time is right, I'm gonna ask you to marry me. You've made me very happy."- "Gentlemen, I'd like you to meet your captain, Captain Oveur." - "Gentlemen, welcome aboard." - "Captain, your navigator, Mr. Dunn was over Unger and I was over Dunn." - "So, you see, both Dunn and I were under Oveur, even though I was under Dunn." - "Dunn was over Unger, and I was over Dunn." Airplane II: The Sequel (1982)"I think you're all f--ked in the head.
Take this down: 'I want rustlers, cut-throats, murderers, bounty hunters, desperadoes, mugs, pugs, thugs, nit-wits, half-wits, dim-wits, vipers, snipers, con-men, Indian agents, Mexican bandits, muggers, buggerers, bush-whackers, horn-swagglers, horse-thieves, bull-dykes, train-robbers, bank-robbers, ass-kickers, shit-kickers, and Methodists! " - "No, now go away, or I shall taunt you a second time." "I went to New York University, and, uhm, I was thrown out of NYU my freshman year for cheating on my metaphysics final.
" - "I want you to round up every vicious criminal and gunslinger in the West. " Blazing Saddles (1974) Play clip (excerpt): - "I don't want to talk to you no more, you empty-headed animal food trough wiper. Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries." - "Is there someone else up there we could talk to? " National Lampoon's Vacation (1983) - "Disturbing the peace." - "Disturbin' the peace? What's the f--kin' charge for getting pushed out of a moving car, huh? This is bulls--t." Beverly Hills Cop (1984)"Excuse me, sir.
We're ten hours from the f--kin' fun park and you wanna bail out.
To call you stupid would be an insult to stupid people! " - "Apes don't read philosophy." - "Yes they do, Otto.
But yeah, tell me how intrigued you are, old sport. But good to know that this guy is proudly "pro-dildo." I don't know any women who are "anti-masturbation" for men but I do plenty of guys who think they're special snowflakes for acknowledging that women masturbate. Having a script erased a lot of the pressure I feel when trying to drum up conversation with a stranger.