Most people would say that they favor equality and gender rights.
They believe that men and women should have equal opportunities and the ability to do whatever they want with their lives.
Nobody put a gun to your head and made you make out with this person, so own your choices and their effects.
We’re in the last month of summer now in the Northern Hemisphere, and feminists are at long last crawling out of their mud huts where they’ve been estivating, hiding their pallid bloat from the male gaze and getting ready to go back to school to launch their next round of rape hoaxes. If that means being submissive, that’s fine— feminists can be submissive, too!
This summer, the best dull whine they could muster was on the oppressive nature of air conditioning. I am SO going to report you for harassment and rape once this date is over. At this point, you should stand up and without another word, walk out of the restaurant, never to return. It just means you making sure you’re getting what you want.
How does a young feminist go about dating in a patriarchal world?
If you believe that heterosexual relationships are possible as a feminist (which I do) then finding someone who encourages your passions, supports feminism and considers you a true equal is essential.
She’ll still feel bad when she eats 80% of your food while only paying half the bill – if, of course, she pays anything at all, or feels guilt at all. Riding a moped might be fun but you don’t want your buddies to see you doing it.
That doesn’t mean you should be on top with a whip every night if that’s not your thing, it just means getting what you want.
Social justice work is fractal and begins in the smallest spaces; we can’t just fix our economic relationships without fixing our personal and cultural ones. Find out your attachment style and work to develop the practices of someone with a secure style.
So identifying as a male feminist is a tricky line to walk. But keep in mind that you’ll get kudos just for taking on the term as your own; it may even help you gain trust extra-quickly with women you’re dating. Recognize that you agreed to or initiated a romantic relationship, however short or long-lived, and so you are responsible to the other person in that relationship as well as to yourself.
Dating in general is unpredictable and filled with potential minefields. It means I don’t wait for the guy at any point to initiate anything, sexual or otherwise, and I am an equal decision-maker every step of the way.
What is it like wading through the dating world as a feminist? It means I have full autonomy in choosing when, where and who I date.
Example: I had a first date this weekend, and as we were talking about our university careers I mentioned that I had taken a lot of women’s studies classes. I need to hear about it sometime.” Score one for him. We all know that the environment that someone grows up in influences them for the rest of their life.